I feel nothing but nervous
As I watch my life unfold
Far away
Floating
People tell me I always seem
So at ease
But in my mind I'm flying
Off a flaming trapeze
I can juggle an arm full of knives
I have pulled from my back
And people say I make it look easy
This tight rope act
Like sweet smelling rose buds
I too have thorns
Tread lightly
I have no qualms
With drawing blood
Residual rain
Drizzles reluctantly
Tulips, daffodils, lilies
Grape hyacinths, forget me nots
Creep among the hedgerows
Blooming in every shade of sunset
Pinks, blues, purples
Dark and light
Pale and vibrant
A squirrel races me
Along the row-houses
Wrought iron fences
A flock of robins
Cheers us on
Clouds blossom
In ominous undulations
The flowers turn
To face where the sun
Should be
And so do I
And the whole world shines
Panic floods my heart
And these river banks
Don't even belong to me
Everything is so sharp
And jagged
But it's not even touching me
I am too gorged
On this society
The overconsumption
The obsoletism
Sedentariness of it all
We are all gluttons
For sensationalism
And I can't bear
To take another bite
The dawn breaks
With snowflakes
Over the vast expanse
Of sky and lake
Love comes
With a price to pay:
That I'll have to miss you
Forever, someday
My soul
Is like
A balloon
On a string
Straining
To float
Up and away
And I
Am a small child
Gripping tight
Pleading
For it to stay
You are scared
Of heights
The ocean
Small, dark, places
But not I
I have never feared
Falling
Drowning
Hiding
Or being breathless
I do this all
Every day
With my feet
Firmly on the ground
Everyone in the world
Is a perfect stranger
Especially me
Don't take it personally
If I don't greet you on the street
I hardly know myself
It is spring
And life feels like
A snow globe settling
Or at least trying to
But winters shakey hands
Rattle the skies
And replete them with snowflakes
It is possible to be grateful
Despite an unfortunate life
To live and love anyways
Regardless of all the trials and strife
The sun doesn't give up shining
Despite the storm clouds
The sun tries to rise
A strange twinge of muddy orange
Royal hues of purple
Enveloping the skies
A blossoming bruise
On deep dark storm cloud skin
Flowers bloom
Bigger and brighter
By the afternoon
The suns warmth
Transforms the Earth
From barren
To beautiful
In the blink of an eye
When things just
Aren't going right
You can stomp your feet
And invoke more storm clouds
Into your already
Tempestuous skies
Or you can smile
Ease into it
Laugh and let go
And allow the sunlight
Back into your eyes
The seasons change
With every hour
Sun, rain, hail
Sleet, snow, flowers
Meet people
Where they are at
Give them their flowers
While they're still here
Don't let kind words
Get stuck in your throat
Scream your love out loud
Before you lose
The opportunity
The sun radiates warmth
The snow geese gobble greedily
In the dead grass
People are out in droves
Walking their dogs
The lake's surface
Is dappled in sunlight
And rainbow reflecting ripples
I race the seagulls along the pier
I let them win
Just finding joy
Carving through the wind on my longboard
Feeling like a sailboat out to sea
I give everyone their space
And my best attempt at a watery smile
The hills on the horizon loom
Big, blue, beautiful
Blending in with the sky and the water
I sit on the shore
And soak up the sunshine
Whistling a wistful yet cheery tune
Like one of the birds
Way up in the branches
Of the willow trees
That reach down to piece the tides
Back together as they break
With a gentle caress
The wind tousles my hair tenderly
My cheeks go red
As I let the sunbeams warm me
And the shadows chill me in turn
I shiver delightedly
Looking out over the pier
Holding onto the guard rail
As if for dear life
Bowing my head as if in prayer
There, a gap in the fence
We could crawl through as children
To play on the moss covered rocks
Here, where the milkweed blooms
And blows away in wisps
Like wishes in the late summer sun
Further out a young man
Wheels a sweet old woman
All bundled up in a wheelchair
To the best vantage point
He snaps a few pictures
Of the view
Including her
They wonder at wharfs and whitecaps
And all our hearts soar
High and far away from here
And I am leaping with joy
For devotion
And defrosting
Waltzing back in to my life
As if I never tripped
Never stumbled or fell
Never forgot the steps
To my own dance
It was there all along
Waiting for me
To join back in time
I have so much love
To give
I want to shout it
To the world
But my stomach sinks
And my lungs shrink
And wires get crossed
From my mind
To my mouth
And it seems
I can never
Truly say
Just what I mean
The ramblings of a hopelessly hopeful romantic. 